an update

Luke just hopped in the 'Finder and took off for Southern West Virginia, where he will be the assistant coach for a men's PDL soccer team this summer!

The quick update is this: Luke was contacted several months ago by his old soccer coach, Scott Reitnour. Scott is the head coach for a new team (the King's Warriors) in the Professional Development League, and he invited Luke to be his assistant. It wasn't easy, but I agreed with Luke almost immediately that it would be a great opportunity he shouldn't pass up. We believed it would require us to spend the whole summer apart, though, and that sucked. I was able to convince myself for awhile that this was okay, but as time drew nearer for him to leave we started to feel the weight of that reality. It felt like an actual, sinking weight on my chest--I kept thinking, "Wait a minute, three months? I married you so we wouldn't have to be apart anymore!" So after a chat with Bryn (my boss, who is far more understanding and accommodating than I could have ever hoped) it was settled that I would join Luke in WV and work remotely for the summer.

I'll be heading to Beckley around June 3rd, soon after I return from a 9-day trip to Costa Rica! Anyone know anything about Beckley? If you do, please don't share. My dad simply started laughing when I told him that's where Luke would be spending the summer, so I'm guessing Beckley doesn't break any West Virginia stereotypes.

Anyway, I'm SO incredibly grateful I'll be joining him soon, but I'm already feeling pretty lonely without my husband. Just before leaving, Luke asked me if I was alright. I was, and told him so. He said "I know. You're independent and I love that about you." But now that he's gone, I'm sitting in the apartment wracking my brain for things to do. Walk downtown and do some work? Go through my closet for clothes to get rid of? Watch a movie and nap? I can't think of a single thing I feel like doing without my best friend, so I'm scrolling up and down my Facebook news feed over and over, looking at pictures of people I barely know, refreshing my Twitter feed, and occasionally zoning out to feel the emptiness of Luke not being next to me, deciding together our next move for the day.

Independent? I once was. In many ways still am. But I'm feeling anything but that right now--all I'm feeling is that I am so much better, so much more fulfilled and effective when I am part of the team that is Luke and I.

Thankful beyond belief that our time apart is only three weeks. Hope they go by fast!

Here are some other quick update blurbs:

Luke and I accompanied the church band today. Our church is seriously blessed with gifted musicians, and we were privileged to join our friends onstage. Luke played the cajon (that's the box drum he's sitting on below!) and I sang backup vocals.

Practicing. Caper the chocolate lab was loving the music.

I finally got an iPhone! I've been waiting for awhile to update my 5-year old, $5 flip phone. My favorite things about my iPhone so far? Instagram, Maps, access to email on the go, feeling like one of the cool kids.

 You served me well, little guy.

As I mentioned above, I'm going to spend some time in Costa Rica at the end of this month as an intern at a health and wellness retreat. My friend Maria is running the show and I'm so excited to see the sights, try a one-week juice fast, and chill on the beach!

Photos by Maria Brubaker

May, I love ya, but I'm really hoping for the next two weeks to fly by. Let's just get you over with, shall we?

regarding river

A couple weeks ago I posted this on my facebook wall:

Just so no one gets the impression that Luke is a big meanie, I want to expound a bit! Getting a puppy is high on our priority list, but unfortunately not an option for us right now. We're really lucky to live in an apartment that is provided for us by Luke's assistantship, but that means we have to abide by their no pet rules. Trust me, I've really tried to convince Luke otherwise. I've attempted to talk him into rebelling against the college and all their rules and get one anyway. My husband is just not a rule-breaker!

Soon enough we'll be able to bring home a pup, I hope. Luke grew up with an amazing golden retriever named Meggie and I love the stories about how kind, loyal and smart she was. I guess because of Meggie I've fallen in love with goldens, and there's absolutely no question that we'll be getting that breed when the time comes.

ALSO: though we do love the name River, shortly after we talked about it we heard of someone else naming their golden retriever puppy that very name (a soccer player Luke follows on Twitter)! Weird! So we've been re-thinking it even though we don't know these folks. Funny how that kind of thing can change your mind, just doesn't feel like it's our name anymore! Any other suggestions?

I've reverted back to my 10-year-old puppy loving self! My family didn't grow up with pets except for a short time with a black lab named Shadow. She jumped on my younger brother too much when he was a toddler, so we gave her away to a sweet old lady who owned a farm. I think Shadow was happy there!

Just look at these beauties. I want one so very very much!

25th birthday

My 25th birthday was seriously wonderful. I'm so blessed with a husband who was incredibly over-the-top in his thoughtfulness and kindness and love all weekend, an amazing family who sent me treats, wonderful friends who called/texted/facebooked and everyone who went out of their way to wish me well! Thank you so much to you all.

I thoroughly advise having your birthday on a Sunday so you can call that weekend "birthday weekend." It was very effective. Some people try to pull off the whole "birthday week" shenanigan, and I commend them. But in my experience, those around you will begin to feel suspect and it's hard to keep it going. Oh, but birthday WEEKEND is perfect. It will go something like this:

Wake up on Saturday and it will be a gorgeous, flawless day. Your husband will announce that it is birthday weekend and then treat you to a latte and a delicious egg sandwich (you all know how I love egg sandwiches!) from a local establishment. Then you will take a leisurely walk on some local trails. That will be the perfect start to birthday weekend.

Although your husband will have to spend the day in class and you the afternoon catching up on work, you will pick up on birthday festivities later on at your friend's band's show. Good music, good friends, good times.

On Sunday, don't worry if you get a little frustrated trying to decide what to wear to church as you rush to get out the door. It won't ruin your brithday. It's a perfect day outside and you'll get a pour-over coffee before church even though it makes you 7 minutes late. Your friend's band is now the worship band at church, score. Your pastor will give a rockin' sermon from the end of the book of John. You will be so happy you go to this church on your birthday. After it leaks to several people that it is your birthday, you'll get some birthday hugs. Yay!

THEN it will come to your attention that there is a Nyack street fair today! You'll get birthday treats from the street fair! There is too much awesomeness in this day. After that, you and your husband will spend the rest of the day in New York walking, shopping, and ultimately eating one of the best meals of your life. Holy smokes. This birthday rocks.

Here are some birthday photos!

High Line above / Chelsea Market below

The Chelsea Market was one of the coolest places ever!

Spying on some bakers

Relaxing in Madison Square Park

Ready for dinner!

We went to Craft for dinner thanks to Doug and Phyllis Gaerte who generously gave us a gift card! THANK YOU SO MUCH DOUG AND PHYLLIS! I cannot even form words that describe how good the food was. We both got seafood and had ramps for the first time (highly recommend them). I got scallops and Luke got swordfish. There was a creamy, lemony, incredible risotto that we enjoyed too. And they personalized a menu for my birthday! That was a fun surprise. I came back from the bathroom and there it was. I thought Luke had called in beforehand, but he said he had not, and then we realized they must have seen my tweet! Are you kidding me Craft?

So that's my birthday in a nutshell. I feel so happy and blessed by all the love shown to me this past weekend. Thank you! I love you! I'm excited to be 25. WOW, I just had that moment when it really dawns on you that you are your age...I'M 25! How did this happen?!?

connected

Tonight I can't stop crying. I'm crying because I read about four pages of a blog whose author I read regularly, but on a blog I didn't even know she had. Her other blog (the one I knew about) was about her profession, and I always read it thinking about what a great life she has. I was intrigued by her lifestyle because she lives and works in NYC, something I'm sort of on the fringes of, but still just dipping my toes in the water, nowhere near in it for real. I read this girl's blog because she's a real cutie, has tons of style, and she's a great writer. I read her for hairspiration. I read her because I pretty much want to be her.

You know how you start to follow a blog and feel like you know the person writing? You think you're really in on their life and what goes on. This particular author wrote with so much personality that I sometimes felt like we were good buds. Tonight on instagram I noticed she posted a picture that elicited sad comments. Of course, I was curious. My interest was piqued, so I did the most logical creepy thing one can do. I googled her.

And I found another blog! Her personal blog. I had been missing out on so much. And as much as I enjoy her hairdos, what you really want from a blogger you love is to know about them, right? So tonight I got more than I bargained for. I read her blog and it seems as though she's going through a really hard time. It seems as though she's lonely. It seems as though she has a nearly 5 year old daughter who has never lived at home because she was born with an incredibly rare condition. It seems as though--if I'm being blunt--her life doesn't actually seem all that great and maybe I don't want it after all.

But my heart was just breaking over and over as I looked at the pictures of her precious, tiny, fragile daughter. The author is young, not too much older than me, her daughter not too much older than my own nieces. And she lives 20 miles down river, and we work in the same city. We've been on the A train together sometime for all I know. And I don't know all of what she's going through right now or what kind of hell she's been through in the past, but because of her blog I know a little. And I care. And we're that much connected.

Recently I've struggled with my blog (as in, I haven't so much as clicked on its button in my bookmarks in almost two months) and why I have it. I think it's a lot for validation--it feels great when I do or make something you guys like, and you comment and tell me so and that you think I'm cool. Maybe, like I did with Reagan, you even want to BE me sometimes (a crazy, far-fetched, self-aggrandizing thought--but I'm sure Reagan would think it impossible, too). Yes, the validation is nice. But I wonder if I don't also blog for the connection to be found through it. By nature I am a people person. I feel the pain of others and render Luke speechless on a regular basis when he finds tears pouring down my face as I read a sad story on some blog, when I was completely fine a minute prior.

I like the thought of you and I being connected through my blog. And I'm reminded how honestly I can portray myself on my blog if I choose to, like Reagan. If my point is to let you connect with me a little bit, I want you to connect with the real me. I've talked about this before on here, just a bit. But I lost it for a little while, struggling to remember why I have write in NH in the first place. Although I'm not certain that I am back for good, tonight I'm thankful for Reagan and the reminder of why blogging can be so wonderful--it brings us together if only a little. Reagan, Luke and I prayed for you tonight. I hope that you can feel some of the peace that probably feels so impossibly distant. I hope you feel comforted.

I'm tired and don't even know if this makes sense anymore, but if you want to keep bearing with me, do so please. I like seeing you guys around this blog!

Love,

Margaret

Reagan's hair blog: www.hdofblog.com

Reagan's personal blog: www.reagansblob.com

spotlight on | greengirlpress

Let's see...pretty calligraphy, letterpress and watercolor details. I'm in love with the 2012 calendar from greengirlpress! Amy Rau is the mastermind behind greengirl and a really wonderful printer friend to me. When I was first learning the ins and outs of letterpress, she was always there to share her knowledge and encourage me. She was the one who printed Allison's invitations beautifully and I'm really excited that she has agreed to print another invitation suite for me this summer!

Amy was kind enough to send me one of her 2012 calendars and I'm so glad she did...I've been especially loving February this month with the sweet little heart. :) Check out all the months below with spotlights on some of my faves, and please do check out Amy's website and etsy!